Testimonies of Life

0 CommentsDecember 2010 • by life

These testimonies were shared at our recent Volunteer Appreciation Christmas Banquet on December 8th.

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To people on the outside, I had a life many people could only dream of:  I was married to a man I adored, had a beautiful daughter, had a successful career, owned my own home…but on the inside was a different story- despite the “so called successes” of my life, my mind kept telling me that I wasn’t doing enough.  I wasn’t a good enough wife, mother, employee.  I began to fear that I was going to lose everything and everyone if I didn’t excel – if I wasn’t perfect.  These fears begun to affect me physically – anxiety attacks, nausea, stomach pains, thoughts of harming me.  As a result, I began to self-medicate with alcohol.  It began with a couple of drinks after work to relax but as time went on the commencement of the drinking hour began earlier and earlier.  Eventually, I couldn’t start my day without a glass of something.

My husband was at his wits end.  We reside in a community in Northern British Columbia where recovery centres are virtually non-existent.  My husband eventually had me committed to a psych ward in hopes assistance would be provided.  To his dismay, addiction services were not their forte.  Upon the advice of a colleague, my husband contacted Life Recovery and within one week of talking with the Administrator, my husband accompanied me for admittance. 

Since arriving at Life Recovery, the anxiety attacks have disappeared and my fears are slowly subsiding.  I credit this with the support of staff and finding my identity in Christ.  I have always been a religious person; however, my faith consisted of filling a pew in church.  Via the AA steps, I am utilizing my time strengthening my spirituality by understanding who God is, what He stands for, and how that affects my life on a daily basis.  As a result, my obsession to drink has been lifted, my attitude towards myself is becoming more positive, and relationships are mending and confidence in the future brighter.

Name Withheld

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I grew up in a Christian home, went to a Christian school, attended church and Youth Group. When I was 13, there was something inside me that said, “Life can be more exciting”.  I was bored and began to look in the wrong places for something more.  What I found was not myself.  I shoved my feelings aside and became addicted to a life of chaos and misery.  I would drown myself in the devils mouthwash and tell myself, this is life!  I spend six years of my life resenting God and running from the truth.  I thought I was in control but my life was becoming empty and hopeless.

I had a four day binge, just like many times before, but this one was different.  It was the Tuesday after Thanksgiving; I went home after I knew my parents were at work.  I hadn’t slept in three nights and just wanted another drink.  I was in a fit of rage because I couldn’t find anything.  Something came over me and I realized I couldn’t live like this anymore.  I had lost myself.  I fell to my knees and cried out to God for help.  I suddenly sobered up and walked to the phone and called my Mom at work.  All I said was I need help and her reply was “I’m coming home”.

We went through the process of finding a recovery home.  God opened the door at Life Recovery.  I was hesitant to walk through but I did and inside I found a group of wonderful loving women.  God’s love shines in this house.  I opened my hardened heart and let God in.  Today, I am filled with serenity and peace.  Life Recovery has brought me back to life and has shown me God’s love and continues to teach me how to grow into a better me.  Today, I am happy and excited about Life.  I have been shown so much love and kindness.  I am eager to share it with the world.  Six years wasted, a life time to look forward to and best of all the door to eternity ahead.  God is Love, Life Recovery showed me that.

Name Withheld

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I grew up in an alcoholic home and with this came verbal abuse, sexual abuse, and brutal physical abuse.  I had no idea that this kind of life was abnormal in any way.  When I was 10 years old, I had a violent attack over making my lunch for school.  I ended up in the hospital and it brought social services and family services into our home quite regularly.  I’d like to say things changed but unfortunately I just learned to keep secrets and to lie…very well.  I was eventually taken away at the age of 16 and set up in my own living situation.  As you can imagine I became the target of more abuse and numerous physical attacks and rapes.  This ended when a biker gang decided to “take over” my home for drug distribution and strangely enough I did not mind. For the first time in my life I felt no fear and liked it.    Thus began my own personal drug addiction and a demise in my life that brought me to places I never ever thought I would go.  My addiction turned me into a thief, a liar, a prostitute, and almost a murderer on several occasions.

I have had three children during a few of my “many” attempts to stay clean and unfortunately even they were not enough to remove my disease of addiction. Eventually, I lost my kids, along with everything else.  A drug induced heart attack at the age of 24 was my first attempt at ”recovery” and “treatment”:  It began a whole new journey for me to walk and still I would continue to get loaded despite many, many attempts at recovery and many, many treatment centres.   I truly believe it was God who brought me to Life Recovery.  I have been searching for so many years, desperate to find out what I was missing every other time in treatment and I found it here.  At Life Recovery, I was introduced to God and this really is where my story begins !!

I feel like I know who I am for the first time in my life.  I have a peace and a love inside me that I never knew existed, and I know that I never ever have to be afraid or alone ever again.  Ever since I found God and decided to put Him first in my life, I have been blessed with a life that I never thought possible.  I see my three children every weekend and talk with them every day.  I am getting married to a Christian man in four months time, someone I can walk my new Christian life with and I know that this is just the beginning of a great life that God has planned for me and my family.

Name Withheld